Saturday, June 30, 2012

poem: The Spanish Shawls



THE SPANISH SHAWLS

In the brightly-lit Chinese emporium,
Just  up from the the beach, in Spain,
I found a rack of little girls' Spanish shawls,
All in bright colors, made in China.

And I remembered 50 years ago, so vividly!
Nana opening her suitcase, her eyes big and round;
And all of us so curious
To see what she had brought us!
Out came these little girls' Spanish shawls--
Each in stained glass colors--
Melon, jonquil, tangerine, violet, royal blue, and emerald green;
And I put one over my shoulders and twirled around in it--
Ahh, the sunshine in my memory made it gorgeous and so fine!

And here, now;  here they were, again, 50 years later,  where I was
Following a very faint trail of remembrance; in a store
With flamenco polka-dot dresses for little girls to wear for dress-up,
In wash-and wear spandex cloth, and fans, and glittery hair ornaments.
The cheerful Chinese imitations--
And now I am the one with the greying hair, and the wrinkly face. 

But
the fabric wasn't silk, just polyester,
the tassels were cheap,
the embroidery was machine-done, not hand-made,
the flowers weren't subtle enough in design,
They did not look quite like the ones I remember, and with Nana's face,
Giggling and cooing over them! 
The memories dissolved in the everyday light; 
They were heavy on my arm, all 6 of them--
And I thought about having to carry them home, stuffed
In my backpack. 

And I thought, a little sadly, we are all over 50,
    we can't really wear them;
    my sisters will twirl once,
    but their eyes will see the difference,
    notice that they aren't well-made,
    they are just a cheap imitation of the memory
    of the ones we loved;
They will go into a bottom drawer, or a costume box,
They aren't really "just the thing";
It would be dumb to buy them.
I am remembering, and the memory itself
Will have to be enough. 

I send you the gift of the shawls at that moment,
When Nana opened her suitcase,
And it could have contained the Eiffel Tower,
Or a Florentine madonna,
A black Spanish bull,
Or the gates of paradise.


mn 2012

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