Blessings of Goodbye

Blessings of Goodbye

Sometimes it is hard to know how to help a family when they are saying goodbye to a dying loved one. People stand around the room and out in the corridor wondering how to be helpful, how to express themselves without being a burden, how to say goodbye. For this moment, there is actually a wonderful thing nurses and physicians can do, or any loving person witnessing the situation. Tell one of the family members to begin a blessing ceremony.
Start with the head.
"We bless your head, which thought for us, with vision and helpful solutions to problems; offered us laughter and jokes, gave us imagination and intelligence.
We bless your eyes, which saw the world with beauty, and looked for the good.
We bless your ears, which listened to us with compassion.
We bless your mouth, which told the truth, with courage and gentleness.
We bless your hands, which touched us with kindness, and helped do the hard work.
We bless your feet, which walked the walk, and helped you stand up for the right things.
We bless your heart, for all the ways you loved us."

Families can take over, and add things they think of; memories, precious qualities of the person, things they have shared. Asking for a final blessing on all the people present can give the dying person a way to leave a blessing behind; a loving touch, a nod, a wink.

Some families may also want to actually make a gesture of blessing the dying person. You can fill a bowl with water and ask them to each touch the person with the water, perhaps on the forehead or hands. Some people might use a scented oil, or hand cream, and do a little massage of the hands or feet.
Some catalogs contain electric candles which can be plugged in at the bedside. These are quite beautiful, and realistic, like beeswax candles. Even though you can't have an open flame at the hospital, these candles can be a comfort next to the bed.
The main thing in using such ceremonial blessings is that it can be done by the family and friends, and doesn't need to be elaborate. Telling people how gives them permission to go ahead. For some families, these will be the most beautiful and meaningful memories to share later, of their time of grief.