Pope Mary Magdalene the First

Monday, April 13, 2009
An apocalyptic vision-- of the first female pope! 
I was driving down through the green hills and valleys of California to see my mom for Easter, and a lovely vision came to me, which seemed like a potentially possible future; no less potential than the Book of Revelations' vision of all the events of the hallucinatory "rapture". The vision unfolded quite fully in my mind, and a rosy picture it was, which made me smile; and if it comes to pass when I am alive and still able to get up and dance, I will dance, like David danced with the Ark of the Covenant!

The newspapers and magazine articles' story goes like this:
POPE MARY MAGDALENE I!
The first woman elected to the papacy by the college of Cardinals in Rome has taken the name Pope Mary Magdalene I. She was highly favored to be a winner, but after 2,000 plus years of male-only papacies, it seemed almost inconceivable that she would actually be voted into office. Her closest friends in the college of cardinals, known affectionately as the "Tres Teresas" or the 3Ts, Terese of Lisieux, the French-speaking cardinal of Singapore, Teresa of Avila, cardinal from Southern Argentina, and Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, cardinal from Northern Germany had spoken very highly of her administrative skills, communication skills, and holiness.
"She is a very charismatic person", Teresa Bendedicta said, and "will be a great asset in helping to form more cohesive Catholic communities around the world."
Pope Mary Magdalene I has said that she will continue to wear the habit of her order, the Daughters of Charity formed by Mother Teresa of Calcutta, with the wide blue band along the rim of the white veil and sari-gown. She will walk barefoot to the throne of Peter, as a reminder of the vows of poverty taken by the sisters in her order.
One of the male cardinals who was said to be very much in opposition to the election of a woman, however holy, to the papacy, has said that he now will attend the consecration and Mass, because it came to him in a dream that "divine love conquers all". Most of the male cardinals seemed genuinely gracious and pleased, as they believe the election of a woman is a long-awaited fulfillment of the Gospel promise that we are all children of the living God, and brothers and sisters in Christ. Cardinal Bernard of Clairvaux, the head of the Benedictine order, was especially clear that this follows what St. Paul said in the epistle to the Galatians, that we were baptised into Christ, and "there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free person, male nor female, for we are all one in Christ".
Both the Italian Cardinals, Ignatius and Dominic were won over by the sensible and kind behavior of the new pope. They were both impressed with her preaching, and her life of service to the poor.
The first promulgation from Pope Mary Magdalene was to ask each archdiocese to have a local site for pilgrimages within each archdiocese, where a representation of "the empty tomb" should be displayed. "Every Catholic Christian should have an opportunity to make a pilgrimage to a place which reminds us of this fundamental miracle of our faith; and of the importance of Easter, which makes us people of the Resurrection" she said.
She has also asked the College of Cardinals to promote ways to be better stewards of the earth as part of the duty of Christians, and to make plans to increase the ecologically sound practices of growing vegetables and fruits within each archdiocese especially for the needs of the poor and the sick; and wherever feasible to convert the church buildings to wind- and water- and solar-powered energy sources.
Sister Misericordia of the Franciscan Sisters of the Poor in South China was in enthusiastic admiration of the idea of growing food within the purview of the church properties-- as this gives a good role model for secular organizations to follow.
All over the world, women rejoiced, as this brings a new feeling of equality and shared stewardship in God's creation and in the full expression of holiness within the lives of women. The "Tres Teresas" have also said that this will help ensure the full protection of children within the offices and functions of the Catholic church, as Pope MMI is dedicated to protecting all children from abuse and exploitation through better policies and enforcement of existing regulations.

Finding Meaning in Medicine

More than ever, I now want to get the attending physicians to understand that there is an ongoing way to do this reinforcement of our medical vocation. It is called Finding Meaning in Medicine. There are small groups of doctors who get together once a month, to explore a topic such as "mystery and awe in medicine". Each one must bring a story or a poem to share, from their work, to give to the group. Sharing on this level helps us drop down into a truly-meaningful conversation, not surface chit-chat. It is really important to build these groups into medical communities.

More information is available at the Remen Institute for the Study of Health and Illness, at Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine. 

Steps Six and Seven in the 12 Steps

A meditation on Steps 6 and 7

"All the freedom in the world lies between stimulus and response”.  Elie Wiesel

I have been really concentrating for the past few months on steps 6 and 7 of the 12 Steps.  We have been promised a transformation, if we follow these steps.    

6.  “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

7.  “Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.” 

I understand that these shortcomings and defects of character probably are not eliminated, but simply removed over to another place for awhile, from which they often creep back to us again.  But the hope is to have them removed, and continue to ask the Higher Power to please keep on the alert for these defects of character, and please keep removing them.  

  

So I have two big defects of character which are common to many of us who follow the 12 Steps: resentment and self-pity.

I think it is good to  try to change self-pity to self-acceptance and then move toward compassion.

I think it is good to try to change resentment into consciousness of abundance, and then move toward gratitude.  

I read a line recently which I loved, which says “How can God correct my steps, if I am not taking any?”

Recently there was a book about the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu, talking about JOY.  They both said that  two main pillars of joy are gratitude and compassion.  I want to move myself toward gratitude, and compassion, and toward JOY.  I want to move away from self-pity and resentment, because they block my ability to feel JOY.   

So how does that look?  Changing one’s self-pity means first recognizing that our suffering exists in a sea of other people also suffering, and trying to link our suffering to them in a spirit of solidarity.  In my  childhood, we would say that we were offering up some suffering for the help of people in Purgatory.  We were trying to lighten their burden.  These small sacrifices were a way to strengthen our souls, by trying to be of use to others.   Since then we have had many wise people talking about how good it is to be engaged in a good cause, in helping someone else every day when it comes up as a possibility,  even if it is a small act of kindness.  The Dalai Lama talks about how he sees himself as just a fellow human-being, in a sea of 7 billion of us human beings.  He does not see himself as special, but as connected to the common lot of all of us.  He also sees that it is good to accept what is, not to wish for something else, but to deal with what is in front of us.  

For us, we need to realize that the way to have a nice day is not to be unrealistic about what we can do in our day;  and to appreciate all the little good things, which is being conscious of abundance and grace.  

I have friends who write a Gratitude list every day.  I usually don’t write mine down, but I wake up thinking of all the things I am thankful for, including being able to wake up slowly and appreciate the light coming into my room. I love to be able to look at the sky and the trees, and in the night, the last few nights, the milky moonlight washing everything.  I am grateful I did not have to get up in the night and go do something hard.  I used to have to do that, and now I am able to stay in my bed.  I am grateful I don’t live in a war zone, and I don’t hear bombs falling.  Also, I don’t hear heavy traffic.  I feel peaceful and safe.   And I can breathe clean air here.  Then I am glad for my morning coffee, and the quiet house, and I notice the colors of things;  the light on the deck, the trees, the flowers.  We had a red rose bloom today.  The sunset colored rose that was a bud  yesterday is a bit overblown today, but still a wonderful apricot color.   I love the blue deck, the full green leaves on the plum tree.  I love the birds singing.  

Then I think of the people in my house and my life, and I am glad everyone is relatively healthy,  and that my troubled son is alive.  I am glad for my other son that he is a happy guy,  and is functional and strong in his life.  My husband is alive and his health is stable, and he can still go up and down stairs, and he does a lot to keep our home functioning.  He has been a little better lately, in his way of dealing with me, and I am grateful.   I keep going like that, in my prayers, being grateful for whatever I can remember from yesterday that I can be grateful for.    

I have known people who have little ways to keep a list of the things and people they pray for, like the 5 fingers on your hand:  the first is to pray for myself.  The second is for the members of the family.  The third is for friends and co-workers. The fourth is for the people who have a big impact on our lives-- our teachers and policemen and firemen and doctors and nurses.  And the fifth is for the people who have the power to protect our country and our world.  I try to pray for them because I think if the Dalai Lama can still pray for the Chinese, and Desmond Tutu could pray for the hardened hearts of the white racists in South Africa, I can pray for these important people who are misusing power, that they become enlightened human beings, and that they become good stewards of creation.

I do my morning prayers starting with the “Our Father” prayer, but I expand it to the Creator of the whole star-spangled universe, and all the swirling galaxies.   I consider  how “Thy will be done” has to do with energy, and mass, and light, and gravity and the tides, and the rainfall and how earth orbits the sun, and 13 billion years of creation.  As much as I am able to consider the weather, to beg for stability, no fire, no floods, and enough rainfall, and clean oceans;  and the need for all of us for air and water and food.  I think about what it means to be asking to be forgiven for trespasses, and for getting our daily needs met.  I try to ask again for more patience and forbearance, and also to help me not eat too much today, which is a chronic personal failing, a defect of character;  and for help  to get enough exercise. I specifically ask for help to be kinder and more patient to everyone who irritated me yesterday!   I ask for help to stay away from temptation which is going to mess me up.  I also ask for deliverance from evil.  Jesus did not promise anything about whether we would be delivered from evil, but he told us to specifically pray for that.  Sometimes I go on about some “evil” that I am worried about.  But also sometimes I realize I am probably ignoring the most worrisome thing, because it is right in front of my nose, and too familiar for me to recognize the danger.  And so I ask for help to recognize what I should be afraid of, and stay away from, and the power to do it.  

After the morning prayers, I start thinking about how to be more compassionate and less judgmental.  I know I am very opinionated and judgmental, which leads to RESENTMENT, and I keep asking for help to be easier on the people around me. Sometimes I think about my husband, who says “I let you live”;  and then laughs a mischievous laugh.  It is true, he lets me live;  and much of my resentment is that he doesn’t do more to help me, but at least he is not trying to make it HARDER for me.  I see this now.   This was a big part of the resentment problem, because I thought he was TRYING to make me angry and resentful, but it is just his normal obliviousness.  This is NOT a personal thing.  And sometimes he does something very nice, really kind, unexpectedly, and I have to really thank him for it.  Like yesterday,  he brought me a prescription I really needed, and he did it to help me feel less sick.  I am trying not to ignore all the positive things he does, and focus on finding fault with what he doesn’t do.  Focusing on the positives and the things for which I am truly grateful brings me to the JOY I want to be really living and breathing.  

Next is the focusing on compassion;  the way I feel about everyone else’s suffering, how hard it is to bear, how I wish I could take it away from them, too.  I pray for all the people on my prayer list;  all the people who are fragile and sick, and vulnerable, and whose problems only God can cure.  As I have gotten older, this list has gotten longer.  I know that I myself am too little to be able to do anything for so many people, but I ask that all people be free of suffering.  I give to God what I cannot solve.  I admit my powerlessness.  This gives me serenity.  I am only doing what is mine to do.  
To live in the deep recognition of Abundance is to be really aware of the grace that is poured out on my life;  all these blessings, and good things that happen, tucked into moments of the day— like a flower, or a person who smiled at me at the market, or a perfect avocado, or the way the dog wagged her tail when she saw me open the door;   and the kindness of strangers, the little miracles all day long.  The cleaning lady, for instance, at the hospital;  what a holy saint she is, as she comforts us with the daily hard things, how good her smile is, how kind she is, in the face of all the suffering all around her.  If I have pretty much gotten myself to forgive or get over the things I was negative toward, and tried to remember all the good things I was forgetting, I move toward that sense of abundance and gratitude, and I find it more easy to have compassion, and to feel joy.  I am trying to turn from resentment toward compassion, and from self-pity toward gratitude.  I am trying to ask that my short-comings and defects of character be replaced by acceptance, courage, serenity, wisdom and joy.  

And then if a bad thing happens, I can stand it better.  I try to focus on the compassion and the acceptance and the grace, and stay in the joy.  

And if all hell is breaking loose, I still try to stay inside the prayers for help and grace and acceptance and forgiveness.  And I pray for a sense of humor, which often is the last thing for which I remember to pray.  

Refugees from Russia, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary

I trained in NY in the 1980's.  I was in a Jewish neighborhood, in a Jewish hospital.  Many of the patients we saw were new Russian immigrants.  Glasnost had allowed them to leave Russia, because they were ethnically Jewish, but most of them had not learned anything about their faith or Jewish culture, and some were glad to be given an opportunity to study scripture with a rabbi, and learn Hebrew and cooking from an interested Jewish lay-person.  We also had a few Jewish Russian doctors, who had managed also to be allowed to emigrate.  From one of them I learned that there was no family planning in the country, there were a few IUDs in the desks of the heads of medical schools, as a curio and a teaching tool.  There was no private industry--- the entire apparatus of the state was aimed at building weapons and doing heavy industry for the military-industrial effort, and something as frivolous as birth control was not on the priority list.  So, many of the  women patients I saw were ethnically Jewish but culturally ignorant, and many of them had had 10 or more abortions, because the only family planning method available in Russia was abortion.  I had enough of a relationship with some of them to ask them what they felt about this.  Most of them had felt it was necessary because it is freezing cold in winter in Russia, and they needed to stay in the small apartments of their parents, as being newly married couples meant you got to be on a waiting list for an apartment, and the time to get it was usually around 10 years.  The cramped space in the winter, the many generations living together in these small cramped spaces in big industrial-sized apartment houses, meant that space was the biggest luxury, and even finding privacy to make love occasionally was very hard, especially in the winter.   When they got to America and could have their own apartment, they were very joyful to finally be able to carry a pregnancy and have a family.  Most of them did fine with pregnancy, there was no complication from all these abortions, in terms of fertility or childbearing, so some of the rhetoric we were told about what a "scar" the abortion might leave in you was not completely true, at least on an anecdotal level.
Recently I was given a book about the miracle of Fatima, which occurred in Portugal in 1917.  The girl Lucia lived to adulthood, while the other two children died, probably of tuberculosis.  Lucia became a nun, and was very very saintly, and had other visits from Our Lady, the mother of Jesus, in her cloistered life.  One of the most insistent messages of Our Lady of Fatima was to pray for the conversion of Russia, through her immaculate heart.  As a Catholic child in the 1950s, this message was so routinely told us that we became numb to its meaning.  The church of my childhood was a place of mothers and children on their knees at the nights of Novena, with occasional dads there also.   We knew the many names for Jesus in the chant at the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, (Blessed be the name of Jesus;  blessed be his most sacred heart;  Blessed be his most precious blood...) I have heard a priest say that the worldview of coherent meaning, or "the Cosmic Egg" cracked in the 1960s, and that one can pinpoint it to 1968.  Suddenly, the actions and fervent prayers of our childhood seemed old-fashioned and irrelevant to a great many of our classmates, and the general American culture around us.   Grappling with the meaning of "sacred heart" in the new profane secular culture, with psychedelic bands playing very loud music, and people all over the place seeming to have lost their minds as well as their faith, was a part of the cultural milieu of my high school and college years.  And there was the very difficult problem of trying to reconcile "Immaculate Heart of Mary" with people who didn't even respect Jesus, much less his mother;  and could not believe that a human could be somehow set apart from the general condition of Original Sin, (something most people did not believe in any more), in order to be the Theotokos-- the bearer of the Child of God.   But still, there was a faithful remnant, saying the rosary, decades and decades of it, to honor Mary, to supplicate for all our sufferings in "this vale of tears"; and to try to ward off evil from ourselves and our loved ones, as the evil one "wanders through the world seeking the ruin of souls".  And many of these devout prayer warriors also prayed for the conversion of Russia, because our Lady of Fatima had urged us to pray for this, as the WAY to world peace.
In gynecology and obstetrics, we tend to hear the cries of the poor;  we see the problems of moms who are overburdened with the problems of a large family with many children.  It is not a theoretical concern to such moms, that another pregnancy might happen, and bring another mouth to feed.   As the decades of my life went by, most American women started to get out of the home, be able to get a job and have a salary.  Many moms worked diligently to get their daughters through college, so that the girls would have "something to fall back on" if they ended up with a husband out of work, dead, or ill, or divorced;  many of the moms I knew had lost their own dads to illness when they were children, and had watched the hardships their moms bore with such long-suffering courage, as they were growing up.  These women understood that a stay-at-home mom was a luxury of a well-employed husband, and they were afraid to put their daughters at the risk of the vagaries of fate that can happen to change the paycheck or fortune of men.
Therefore, women like me, well-educated, and with professional status, were glad to try to assist other women to get on a firmer footing, to help the families be stable financially, and to help both boys and girls get the chance to "be all you can be".   The goal was to get educated, to be able to afford to take care of our children.
30 years later,  we see the newer social problem--- although most women are better educated, it is still hard to find a committed partner for marriage, and marriages are getting more and more delayed, as people try to get financially stable first. The cost of housing has risen, the needs of middle class families are more complex, and women are trying to "ride two horses" to get the financial means and also to maintain the family and the home, to help their own children get into the middle class and become successful at family life.  Everyone is harried and driven.  We pray and pray, for "the ability to make ends meet" emotionally, socially, financially, politically and spiritually.
So, back to the question of praying for Russia.  I started thinking about the "Heart of the Mother".  What does it mean to have an immaculate heart?  The first thing that comes to mind is courage.  Courage is what inspires us, when life is uncertain, to attempt what is not a foregone conclusion.  And what does a mother have, that another woman might not have?  The mother has the love for her own individual child.  This child is not a "member of the masses" to her.  The unique love of a person starts with the love the mother has for the child, which calls it to grow, to expand, to become the fullest human being he or she  can become.  We can see that men also have this heart, it is not just the mothers who have it;  but it especially comes to mothers, because the child is her own, the child of her body, "bone of her bone, flesh of her flesh".   If a mother has the fierce and protective love of her child, she will help protect and shelter and feed and clothe that child, to help to get the child to independent existence.  It is a biological drive.  And if we say that a heart is immaculate, is it because there is no doubt, no driving self-interest which interferes with the desire of the mother for getting her child to the stage of adulthood?  We all know fierce moms, tiger moms;  and most healthy moms are able to love each of their children with a special and full love,  so that each child is given what it most needs, existentially, to grow up.  In a healthy family, the love expands with each child, so that the love is immense, and fills the home.  But what happens when this love is stunted or blocked?  What happens when the dad doesn't get the love he needs as a husband and father?  What becomes of children who are emotionally abandoned? This is the problem I think we need to pray for.  Children whose mothers are not fiercely loving, devoted in an existential way, in a faithful, courageous way, to the children, will not be able to reach their adult potential without enormous remedial help, if at all.  We see social workers, teachers, librarians, doctors and nurses, all kinds of people, trying to help fill the holes where the mother-love was missing.  And this is where the pedophiles find their opportunity to twist and maim the souls of children.   We need to pray with dedication and fortitude and stamina, for the strength and resilience and courage of the mothers.  We need to really pray that the mothers have HOPE for their children, because the future is terrible if one is full of despair and cynicism.  Life is hard.  Things happen which are so difficult we can only carry them when we have a whole community together to hold the grief, the loss, the fatigue of failure.   We also need to do our very best to help moms get the support they need, to maintain the homes, nurture the family, and have enough economic stability to do the very very tough job of "bringing up" a family.
And what about Russia?  Russia is full of terrible corruption, and we need to pray for it to be made better, holier, more attuned to justice;  and I think that to pray for the mothers in Russia is a good way to do this.  When you are loved, your own ethical awareness is naturally higher than if you had to lie, cheat and steal to stay alive.  You have an axis which helps keep you from becoming so twisted and crooked.  When a whole community is full of love, which naturally brings with it hope, and faith and willingness to try to build community, peace and well-being, compassion and cooperation are the fruits of the spirit.  We need to pray for Russia.  

Public Service and Health Care

Public Service, and Health Care

One of the things about being in health care, is that sometimes we are too close to the center, and cannot see the forest for the trees.  Another problem is when we get defensive about our own part of it.  What I want to focus on is that there was a general public WILLINGNESS to get to universal national healthcare.  It got subverted by the insurance industry.  But the WILL to do real national healthcare is probably actually coming forward more, now that we have some evidence of what it can do, even in this imperfect system where the pharmaceutical industry is outside of the running of the thing, and the insurers take a lot of money out of the system to give to stock-holders on Wall Street.

If we are serious about healthcare we should be able to marshal the whole country, including all the parts of healthcare, to the goal of "the common good".  We had another good indicator when the Mental Health bill passed, with bipartisan support.  People with mentally ill relatives really worked to help get that bill through congress.  We need vastly improved services for the mentally ill, and the truth is that it is part of healthcare, and should not be run mainly by the jails and the criminal justice system.

If patients, nurses, doctors, and families all come together, we should be able to pass universal healthcare.  What we need is to stick together, not to have side-deals and back-room carve-outs.  We also need to remind ourselves that the TAXPAYERS are footing the bill, and we owe it to ourselves as taxpayers, to have the most streamlined and most effective system, the biggest bang for the buck.
We who are on Medicare have been paying into the system with wages earned and taxes taken out of our earnings, all our working lives.  Social Security likewise is something we have PAID into, out of our earnings.  It is NOT an entitlement, as some of the congressional representatives have made it out to be.  It is solvent, but it will be more solvent beyond 2028 if we raise the cap so that upper income earners also pay into it.

The truth about the Health Savings Accounts is that no one has that much discretionary income. An ambulance ride is over a thousand dollars, and the visit to the ER might be between 5-10k.  Women have  a 1/5 chance of miscarriage and hemorrhage, and need access to hospitals.  Hospital stays are usually greater than 10k/day.
Pregnancy and childbirth are a big expense.  In California, about 50% of childbirth is being paid for by Medi-Cal, which is Medicaid for our state.
Family Planning is an important piece of the puzzle of healthcare.  No one wants to see schoolgirls pregnant.  We want people to get an education.  We also want parents to have skills and maturity in dealing with the difficulties of childrearing.    Family planning needs to be part of healthcare, and it needs to be covered so that people with no discretionary income can get it, and not get pregnant until they are ready.  There are many kinds of family planning and we need to give women access to care, so that the one that fits them best is available to them.
Screening and public health programs are really important.  Our public health departments respond when an outbreak of meningitis or flu, or any epidemic occurs; like AIDS, Syphilis, Swine flu, diseases which can wipe out whole populations.  They try to teach and show people many ways of preventive health and self-care and maintenance tools.  This is becoming even more important as more Americans are obese, sedentary, and have diabetes and heart disease.
One of the lesser pieces of the puzzle is that doctors need to be well-paid so that they can stay ethical and devoted to the healthcare of patients.  When doctors go bankrupt, or commit suicide, or the business fails, we lose valuable expertise.  When doctors can't make enough money to own a house or have a family, there is something really wrong.  Many of our doctors now are coming out of training with immense debt, which means they can't live the next part of their working lives in a good frame of mind, with generosity and compassion.
Just like the people who are coming out of college with massive debt, doctors will end up choosing to do something which pays enough to be allowed to have the life they want, instead of choosing to serve in underserved areas or in populations at risk.  In my generation, many doctors dedicated themselves to care for AIDS patients, because we came from an idealistic framework.  John F. Kennedy said "Do not ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."  Many doctors, like me, joined the Peace Corps, or Vista, or went to an underserved community in order to "give back" and to "pay it forward".
We all need to work together, as a country, to get to real healthcare reform.  We need to push through the obfuscation and resistance.  We need to stick to the main ideas, and "hold hands as we cross the street".
This is the greatest nation on earth, and we can do it, but we have to work together.  We have to have the vision and determination to bring it to fulfillment.  When FDR passed the big reforms which allowed us to begin to have social buffers, it was watching the faces in the pool with him at his Polio rehabilitation place in Warm Springs GA which gave him the pleasure and joy of being of true service.  Watch the film clips, and you will see it.

We need to have what the ACA promised; a program which would not kick you off when you got sick, would not eliminate you for pre-existing conditions, would cover you through the beginning of young adulthood and hopefully employed and covered by insurance in your employment.  We need family planning without co-pays, and we need bargaining power for medications so patients can afford to take them and stay as healthy as possible.  We need a FEDERAL program, not block grants to states.  We need federal money to cover the costs for the program.  It should be evenly distributed from sea to shining sea. Prudent financial sense means we also should get the best deal we can for ourselves as taxpayers.  Oversight by federal administration has to be built-in, with accountability and transparency.
Congress should be working to get funding for this universal national healthcare.  When taxpayers see accountability and  transparency, and funding well-spent, although we may grumble, we will pay the taxes.
Many of us are Christians.  Today in church we were singing a song, which brought in that line from Jesus, quoted in the gospel of St. Matthew;  "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me."  Our nation was built on that consciousness of the call to be servants to each other,  to be friends to each other.
We must be committed to service to the common good, to the care for the poor, the elderly, the children, the vulnerable.
Our Constitution says "in order to provide for the general welfare... and to care for the common good".    These are the foundational values in support of national universal healthcare.  Every other developed country on earth has managed to get there, and we should get there too!  

Christmas as the Birth of a Baby

Christmas reflection: I always come back to the fact that God chooses to come as a baby-- a just-born infant with eyes opening onto the big wide world--- and it fills me with such intense awe--- that God comes without words or dogma, in human skin-- baby skin, which smells heavenly-- and in those tiny hands and feet, those big eyes, full of wonder. And such vulnerability--- no armies of angels in full battle gear! God is willing to come to us, to let us be abusive parents, in all our self-absorbed egotism; God lets us fail to see the miracles. He waits for us to get it. He lets time spin out like yards of ribbons, or like the blown dandelion seeds in the dry summer--- waiting for us to come closer to the moment when we hold the baby in our own arms, let it fall asleep on our shoulder, or nestle it against our breast.
No other religion really focuses on the human baby. No other religion really brings our attention to the quality of our parenting a baby-- the thought of Joseph taking Mary into his home, because an angel told him to. How Mary and Joseph together raise this child, in the hidden years--- and hide him from Herod and the slaughter of the innocents. Most religions start with a person in adulthood, exhorting us to connect our spirits to the Great Spirit. But Jesus is also that baby. He is coming in the most vulnerable, innocent, helpless way He can, to let us possess God, in the child.
Last night we had singing carols before Mass. A guy with a great voice sang "Mary, did you know that your baby boy..." with several verses. It makes me cry. I think that we do not know. We certainly do not know that our children are going to be piercing our hearts with sorrow and fear. We think they will bring us joy, and we hope they will bring us honor. We do not want to consider the way of the cross. We certainly cannot contain, in our becoming parents, the suffering likely to come, as our children move forward toward God in their own journeys, falling and failing as we have fallen and failed. And yet, Jesus has given us the path, shown us, in a few brush-strokes of the story, what we must endure. "Did you not know that I must be about my father's business?" Even if the child does not know it is about his father's business, even if he thinks he can do it with his own WILL, God will be the alpha and omega of his path. We are in our orbits, like atoms, on our pilgrimage toward the God who made us. I have walked the labyrinth with this so clearly in mind-- that I am being called back to the center. The still-point in time, the mystical rose, the existential moment, the Eternal NOW. And my child is also called, though he does not know it clearly, is not watching for signs, is not following the stars, is not sure of his way. And maybe that is also the point. We see the stars, we begin to watch for wise men, we begin to hear the message in a deeper way, a new way. We begin to think it is amazing and miraculous that shepherds were the ones to see the glory first. We begin to understand that you have to be cold and lonely and outside at night, to SEE the stars. And that when you are watching the stars, you begin to hear choirs of angels! And that you have to listen to your dreams, like Joseph did. It is amazing that the messages that come in the dreams are the most important guides to your life. And that the baby will be born without a safe place in the world, because God is always being born in new and amazing ways, outside the ordered world, outside the circle of power and influence; NOT born to the Rabbi; NOT born in the Temple precincts or the palace. The whole thing is amazing. The whole thing calls us to be filled with wonder and awe. I circle around it again, and am glad I was able to sing along, in the cold night, in our everyday community, filled with people struggling to be good; with those dear carols I have loved all my life--- especially the one which says "gloria in excelsis Deo!"

History and Memory

(What historical event is alive in our memory, shaping who we are and what we do?)

THE MURDER OF OUR PRESIDENT

The murder of our president,

John FitzGerald Kennedy, in the open car in Dallas; 

The shot when I was 13, praying— 

Somehow praying that the world would actually repair itself

Around that hole in our society, in the fabric of government 

Which we thought was going to be about the people;  of the people 

by the people, 

Not by murderers and thugs, 

Not by someone who actually IS one of the people;

Like what happened in Auschwitz, when Elie Wiesel spoke of them hanging the golden boy,

(How could they hang an innocent child? )  And not just that one child:
How could we hold in our minds the gas chambers, and all those women and children,

Rabbis and mothers and fathers; singing hymns on the cattle cars

Moving them to an actual hell-on-earth. 

How do we bear it, and what can we do to heal it?

We who live now, aware as past generations may not have been,

So vividly taught in real-time photography of the beheadings in Syria, 

Unreasonable, merciless, 

How can they think God will ever forgive them?

Women being stoned to death,  

Women raped and gang-raped, 

Sheep and goats raped, and men being crucified,

And blood pouring into the rivers;  human blood, not even meant as sacrifice,

But just slaughter.

Power;  the arms, the bombs, the weapons, to kill

the ‘might makes right’ belief of the tribes.  

The president was killed, is dead; 

We still speculate about how and why,

And it is not Camelot.  

No one has ever really felt safe since then, 

Certainly not anyone that passionate about justice.