Lost IUD
Yesterday I delivered a baby, and we had been working on it all night-- so I was tired and cranky when I got home after finally having to do a C/Section for failure to progress. It was a mystery why the labor stalled, and I was disappointed, as was the mom, although we were all relieved to have a healthy baby come into the world. I was just starting to eat breakfast, when I got called to the ER. Bummer! There was a lady with a lost IUD who wanted it removed. I had seen her a few days before, and she had been crampy. We had done an ultrasound to show it was centrally placed in the uterus, and the string was visible. So I had told her to keep trying the anti-inflammatories for a few more days and see how it goes. Now she couldn't stand it any more, and the ER doc said the string was no longer visible. So I stopped at the office to get my "little bag of tricks"-- hooks and narrow-tipped graspers, for going fishing in the uterus. I gave her iv fentanyl and toradol, and a paracervical block. She was not febrile and there was no evidence of infection. I used each instrument twice, with a twisting motion. The third time was the right one, and the little hook was able to grasp the t-bar of the IUD and get it out. The string had twisted itself upward and around the long bar, as though it were ivy climbing a tree, up away from the cervix. The tip of the string was poking upward, so it perhaps was the reason for the persistent cramping. The woman was very relieved that we could get it out, without having to go to the OR. And I started thinking about all the crazy things women have to do to be responsible about contraception; and other ways we get tortured to be what we think "women are supposed to be". I have one woman who comes in with the pointiest high heels, and I feel so sorry for her feet! I usually like the Mirena IUDs, as they reduce cramping and bleeding. This is only the second time in my career that a woman needed to have one removed because she couldn't stand the cramping. I thought about this woman, in her early 40's-- going out to feed her horse, getting so nauseated and crampy that she couldn't stand up, and had to come to the ER to get this IUD out. In the afternoon I went to see the movie "Babies". My friend and fellow FMM person, Janet, has a cameo role in the movie as the pediatrician of Hattie. Watching the babies in Africa and Mongolia was a trip. I really thought about contraception, and how the world has changed since the OCPs were developed in the 1960's. I thought about people in Africa and Asia needing the kind of contraception that the Mirena can offer-- but it costs us $600 for each IUD. I want to see all those babies fed and comfortable, and playing with their moms and siblings. I want the dads to arrive and laugh and play, at the end of the work day. I want to see animals around them peacefully playing. I do not want to see starving children in refugee camps, and mothers who have lost their babies to disease listlessly sitting in grief.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Homes
This morning the Wall Street Journal had a very pious, holier-than-thou article by some financial genius about the problem with Americans having homes without enough equity in them, and the foreclosure and loss to the banks of that lucrative market. The person writing this said that probably people should not be allowed to buy homes they can't afford. The 30 year fixed mortgages are a bad idea because Europe has a much more stable society with shorter mortgage loans. When I think of Europe, I think of families who have lived in towns for hundreds of years, holding on to the family farm, and only having 1 or 2 children, so that they can keep that property. What made me angry, in thinking about this the rest of the day, is how the families I know are struggling to be able to raise children. No longer can people afford even 4 children-- we are down to 2 or maximum 3. College is too expensive, dental work is too expensive. In our area, the gang warfare is rising, as the children of low-income field laborers hit the ceiling after high school, and can't go on to get that diploma which might afford them the WAGES to get a home. Many young people are renting, and the rental neighborhoods are where the crack, meth and cocaine is being bought and sold. Single moms abound. Most of the single moms I know are single because the men were unfaithful or alcoholic, or on drugs. A few are because the woman was unstable or addicted or unfaithful-- but mostly it happens because the women couldn't carry the burden of the family alone, and they couldn't afford to let the man soak up what was needed for having a home and food for the children. Men who are willing to get married, have a 30 year marriage and a 30 year mortgage, and raise kids who can get to college if they apply themselves, are the most precious commodity in our society. I see so few. I know some, from my college years. But around me are so many women who are like birds with broken wings, trying to fly, trying to feed the chicks. And now I know some young men, who also are good fellows, who deserve to make enough so that they can get married and afford a home for their families. It is all tied to the structure of wages and benefits. If the goal of these financiers is to have cheap labor, which always seems to me to be their main goal, they are winning. They have pushed back against the potential for wage increases and benefits, and all the ways which one might be able to use to make a 30 year mortgage possible.
What the article didn't address is the speculators, who are not interested in living in the homes they purchased-- they were just trying to make extra money. This reminds me of the plague of locusts in the Bible. Why was the banking industry allowed to de-regulate, so that those locusts could get those loans-- without any evidence that they were planning to stay in the community and live there, bring up a family there, be contributing members of society there?? Why weren't those questions asked by those brilliant financiers? Most of the young people I know are hitting 30 before they can afford the downpayment on a home, get married or get pregnant. Most of the women are anxious, because even with a husband and a good salary, they need two incomes for that home to be purchased. But what banking morons think that bringing up a child in a rented home is more secure, more stable, more good for the mental and physical health of the child or family? Why would it be better for society? No, it is only so they can have access to cheap labor. Labor which is not paid SUSTAINABLE rates.
God bless the men who are good husbands and fathers, and are working to pay those 30 year mortgages. And may someone inform the bankers about it.
What the article didn't address is the speculators, who are not interested in living in the homes they purchased-- they were just trying to make extra money. This reminds me of the plague of locusts in the Bible. Why was the banking industry allowed to de-regulate, so that those locusts could get those loans-- without any evidence that they were planning to stay in the community and live there, bring up a family there, be contributing members of society there?? Why weren't those questions asked by those brilliant financiers? Most of the young people I know are hitting 30 before they can afford the downpayment on a home, get married or get pregnant. Most of the women are anxious, because even with a husband and a good salary, they need two incomes for that home to be purchased. But what banking morons think that bringing up a child in a rented home is more secure, more stable, more good for the mental and physical health of the child or family? Why would it be better for society? No, it is only so they can have access to cheap labor. Labor which is not paid SUSTAINABLE rates.
God bless the men who are good husbands and fathers, and are working to pay those 30 year mortgages. And may someone inform the bankers about it.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Slavery, freedom, just wages
Perhaps the world is always struggling with the difference between slavery and freedom. Reading Kristof's article about parental choices in places where there are such fragile opportunities for the children to be educated, have enough to eat, keep from dying of malaria by having a mosquito net, etc, makes me think about the problem of inadequate wages, inadequate resources for families.
I am proud of WILPF, working on the right of people to have a "free" local water supply. Cooperating to build healthy communities is so important~ but of course, as we learned in the Peace Corps, all the problems need to be worked on simultaneously, for progress to occur. We need water and sanitation, and the ability to cook, and the food to be available, inexpensive enough to purchase, and healthy and fresh. My friend Pat started working for solar cooking when she realized that the children in Afghanistan and many other countries spend the whole day looking far and wide for firewood for their mothers to be able to cook dinner. These children cannot go to school, because of the importance of this task. Others, like my niece Ave, are involved with the slow-cooking movement, in order to combat the noxious fast-food American diet, which is causing obesity to be the main childhood disease in our country; and at the same time emotional starvation, which is caused by the inability of parents to be with their children sufficiently to nourish them emotionally.
In China, I understand that the town owns the right to make people work in specific factories, and there is no possible way to get out of it-- be somewhere else, have a different job, get a transfer, get a pass to another town, decide to become an artist instead of a factory worker. The highest suicide rate in the world is in women in the Chinese countryside, who have been left with a child while the husband goes off to one of these slave-labor towns. The women will never be able to live the life of a family, with the husband present and able to help with child-rearing. The family has been broken by this social structure.
In Mexico, on the border, there are so many factories where only young unmarried women are employed, and they work 10 hour days, 6 days a week, and send the money home. There are few men, as all the able-bodied men come to America looking for work. (Or at least they did, until we started to get more serious about border control and making it illegal to hire undocumented workers). These women also have no life ahead. They cannot go home, there is no work in the villages where they were born, and their families subsist on the money sent back to them. This also occurred in the early industrial revolution, and we can read about it in Dickens, and the Bronte sisters' novels, and Jane Austen.
One answer is to try to live one's freedom in the interiority of the soul-- not in the external circumstances. But also, there are the political struggles, to try to make the government more responsible, to make the laws more just, to give people more freedom, which includes the possibility of leisure time, the chance to use other talents and skills, and the right to marry and have a family. When education becomes no longer free, when children are put to work at age 4 or 7 or 10, the chance to grow and develop is stunted. Family life is the most important thing for developing sensible and good human beings. Helping mothers and fathers to have a reasonable rhythm of life really matters to help children develop well. And JUST WAGES are wages which will afford families a home, water, food, and access to medical care. I have fought to increase the time off for mothers to be able to breastfeed their babies. It is not enough for mothers to pump the milk while at work, and put it in a bottle for the baby later. It is important that the bonding and loving time be there. We should have at least 5 months of maternity leave, in order to decrease the criminal activity in society. Mothers need good medical care and good mental health, and really we all need good adult companionship. I have great respect for the programs which encourage men to be good stewards, and good fathers and husbands. I deplore movies and tv shows which make men seem shallow and stupid.
The aim of our political life, to try to maximize individual freedom, needs to be balanced with a sense of community values, and cooperation within communities. M.C. Richards, a wonderful thinker and poet, wrote a book called "opening our moral eye"-- about 30 years ago. She talks about education within the Quaker system. The way to educate people to be communitarian is to avoid hierarchy, and to try to listen to everyone, in a society of friends. This innate respect for others will help carry people to use the best thoughts of the whole community. As this goes on, there will be a group of elders who help shape the debate, and help make historical context and knowledge more available to the people responding to problems. We already have a model in Montessori education, and this could be expanded. America is squandering the opportunity to do this, as our television shows are so shallow, and often so noxious. We need to inspire our young people, and encourage them to work for greater cooperation and respectful interactions.
Most young women wish to marry and become mothers. We need to make that goal a reasonable expectation. To perpetuate the model of slave labor is a devastation to the hope human beings must have in order to live meaningful lives.
I am proud of WILPF, working on the right of people to have a "free" local water supply. Cooperating to build healthy communities is so important~ but of course, as we learned in the Peace Corps, all the problems need to be worked on simultaneously, for progress to occur. We need water and sanitation, and the ability to cook, and the food to be available, inexpensive enough to purchase, and healthy and fresh. My friend Pat started working for solar cooking when she realized that the children in Afghanistan and many other countries spend the whole day looking far and wide for firewood for their mothers to be able to cook dinner. These children cannot go to school, because of the importance of this task. Others, like my niece Ave, are involved with the slow-cooking movement, in order to combat the noxious fast-food American diet, which is causing obesity to be the main childhood disease in our country; and at the same time emotional starvation, which is caused by the inability of parents to be with their children sufficiently to nourish them emotionally.
In China, I understand that the town owns the right to make people work in specific factories, and there is no possible way to get out of it-- be somewhere else, have a different job, get a transfer, get a pass to another town, decide to become an artist instead of a factory worker. The highest suicide rate in the world is in women in the Chinese countryside, who have been left with a child while the husband goes off to one of these slave-labor towns. The women will never be able to live the life of a family, with the husband present and able to help with child-rearing. The family has been broken by this social structure.
In Mexico, on the border, there are so many factories where only young unmarried women are employed, and they work 10 hour days, 6 days a week, and send the money home. There are few men, as all the able-bodied men come to America looking for work. (Or at least they did, until we started to get more serious about border control and making it illegal to hire undocumented workers). These women also have no life ahead. They cannot go home, there is no work in the villages where they were born, and their families subsist on the money sent back to them. This also occurred in the early industrial revolution, and we can read about it in Dickens, and the Bronte sisters' novels, and Jane Austen.
One answer is to try to live one's freedom in the interiority of the soul-- not in the external circumstances. But also, there are the political struggles, to try to make the government more responsible, to make the laws more just, to give people more freedom, which includes the possibility of leisure time, the chance to use other talents and skills, and the right to marry and have a family. When education becomes no longer free, when children are put to work at age 4 or 7 or 10, the chance to grow and develop is stunted. Family life is the most important thing for developing sensible and good human beings. Helping mothers and fathers to have a reasonable rhythm of life really matters to help children develop well. And JUST WAGES are wages which will afford families a home, water, food, and access to medical care. I have fought to increase the time off for mothers to be able to breastfeed their babies. It is not enough for mothers to pump the milk while at work, and put it in a bottle for the baby later. It is important that the bonding and loving time be there. We should have at least 5 months of maternity leave, in order to decrease the criminal activity in society. Mothers need good medical care and good mental health, and really we all need good adult companionship. I have great respect for the programs which encourage men to be good stewards, and good fathers and husbands. I deplore movies and tv shows which make men seem shallow and stupid.
The aim of our political life, to try to maximize individual freedom, needs to be balanced with a sense of community values, and cooperation within communities. M.C. Richards, a wonderful thinker and poet, wrote a book called "opening our moral eye"-- about 30 years ago. She talks about education within the Quaker system. The way to educate people to be communitarian is to avoid hierarchy, and to try to listen to everyone, in a society of friends. This innate respect for others will help carry people to use the best thoughts of the whole community. As this goes on, there will be a group of elders who help shape the debate, and help make historical context and knowledge more available to the people responding to problems. We already have a model in Montessori education, and this could be expanded. America is squandering the opportunity to do this, as our television shows are so shallow, and often so noxious. We need to inspire our young people, and encourage them to work for greater cooperation and respectful interactions.
Most young women wish to marry and become mothers. We need to make that goal a reasonable expectation. To perpetuate the model of slave labor is a devastation to the hope human beings must have in order to live meaningful lives.
Monday, May 24, 2010
the Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela
I have been wanting to walk the Camino to Santiago de Compostela in Spain for about 5 years. It is a really deep thirst in me, and I am not completely sure why it has maintained itself, this dream, this long time. I am reading Joyce Rupp's book, "Walk in a relaxed manner" which is about her doing the Camino at age 60. I am terrified of walking 500 miles across Spain, with sore hips and bad back, and all the problems of the refugios; poor hygiene, scarce meals, bad beds. But I love the saying "primero Dios". This is to say first to have God, then the rest will follow. And now I am reading about a time when they got dysentery, and had to keep walking, and had nausea so fierce they couldn't eat, and barely could drink fluids. Just like in a long labor, coke helped! One keeps coming up against the need to depend on others; to get help, share the road, share the trials and difficulties. I really hope I get to do this soon. It is a pilgrimage to the site where supposedly St. James is buried, in a field of stars. At the edge of the western sea... Every symbol is carried in that becoming a pilgrim, under the stars.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Responding to Kristof on some 3rd world parents' poor choices
Nicholas Kristof wrote an article about parents in Africa who choose beer and cigarettes, cellphones and prostitutes over the needs of their children for mosquito nets, food, shelter, and education. Check it out in the NY Times, May 23, "How about a beer?"
May 23rd, 2010
7:29 am
The patterns of self-discipline, respectful cooperation, and delayed gratification, within close-knit and healthy families are the real goal. Teaching by example, so that the children see the joy and love in their parents' willingness to forego a momentary pleasure in order to see them grow stronger and more able to be productive and successful in life is paramount. Domestic violence, emotional abuse and addiction teach the next generation to be violent, abusive and addicted. In each way that we help break the cycle, reduce the violence, advocate for family life and safety for communities, we make the future better. We can inspire hope, and we can offer incentives. I liked the posting which recommended sending financial planners in the Peace Corps. I also liked the posting about the overseas workers' domestic help's way of spending the money they make to better their families' lives. I recently was upset by my son speaking about some of the UN workers raping kids in Africa. You Tube makes all this material up close and personal; --butchery, madness, gang violence, lawlessness. We need to keep inspiring hope for progress. Archbishop Tutu's wonderful modeling of forgiveness is important. Alcoholics Anonymous is really important too. Without a hierarchy to support, it is a free organization for all who need it to help them recover from addiction. It is possible to become sober, and to find joy again. Each person needs to do this for himself, without coersion. Women can be better financial planners for the family, but ultimately, for families to be strong and resilient, the men need to become healthy and un-numb, and non-violent, and become better partners. The best incentive is \"the pursuit of happiness\"-- which indeed should include healthiness and self-respect.
May 23rd, 2010
7:29 am
The patterns of self-discipline, respectful cooperation, and delayed gratification, within close-knit and healthy families are the real goal. Teaching by example, so that the children see the joy and love in their parents' willingness to forego a momentary pleasure in order to see them grow stronger and more able to be productive and successful in life is paramount. Domestic violence, emotional abuse and addiction teach the next generation to be violent, abusive and addicted. In each way that we help break the cycle, reduce the violence, advocate for family life and safety for communities, we make the future better. We can inspire hope, and we can offer incentives. I liked the posting which recommended sending financial planners in the Peace Corps. I also liked the posting about the overseas workers' domestic help's way of spending the money they make to better their families' lives. I recently was upset by my son speaking about some of the UN workers raping kids in Africa. You Tube makes all this material up close and personal; --butchery, madness, gang violence, lawlessness. We need to keep inspiring hope for progress. Archbishop Tutu's wonderful modeling of forgiveness is important. Alcoholics Anonymous is really important too. Without a hierarchy to support, it is a free organization for all who need it to help them recover from addiction. It is possible to become sober, and to find joy again. Each person needs to do this for himself, without coersion. Women can be better financial planners for the family, but ultimately, for families to be strong and resilient, the men need to become healthy and un-numb, and non-violent, and become better partners. The best incentive is \"the pursuit of happiness\"-- which indeed should include healthiness and self-respect.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thinking out loud
I do think I should say that the quote I liked about the benefits of having sex was from my college football-star nephew Johnny, and I was impressed with his scientific presentation of the facts! Taking it up a few notches, on picking an appropriate partner, and nuances of emotionally healthy connections over time would also be interesting and welcome. I was reading in the New Yorker about a great inventor, who just graduated recently from MIT, and has one great idea after another, and is working on wind-power-generating-electricity kites, among other things. He said that what we need is a whole new level of maturity in human behavior. He said that making, modifying and repairing things can be an antidote to throwaway consumerism. Saul Griffith sounds like my kind of guy-- interested in problem-solving which actually gets to the root of the problem! The cost is daunting. He said that even with a perfect energy-solving idea, it would take at least a hundred million dollars and at least 5-10 years to develop. We need a new way to develop venture capital for real problems on this scale. On the other hand, I was heartened to learn that bees are now being nurtured and protected in people's backyards, because the exhaustion from overwork was killing them. When every neighborhood has a hive, it will be good for encouraging pollination and diversity-honey! I think local honey is good for people's immune systems...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Andy and the "hate crime"
On Friday evening, Andy was assaulted on a downtown sidewalk in Venice, Ca. He was wearing what I call his "Tinkerbell" clothes-- he likes wild colors and patterns and "girlish" fabrics. Two guys got revved up, yelling he was gay, and started hitting and kicking him, knocked him down and almost broke his wrist. Luckily, the policemen were not far away. His iphone was stolen-- which had all his schoolwork and photos on it, and hadn't been backed up. But thank God they didn't have a gun or a knife, and he was able to get up and walk. A friend brought him home. I had already planned to go down to see him and mom, so I was there at noon on Saturday. I am reflecting on this event with prayers and fear; and the awareness that the loss of civility in our public sphere, and the constant tension and hostility lately in the news may contribute to the "hair-trigger" on angry young men. I have begged Andy to try not to "stand out" so much, to maintain a "defensive" look, such as I wore in New York. The area he was in is not considered a "dangerous" neighborhood.
Being a parent is such a hard lesson in helplessness. Learning prudence is one of the most important lessons of "getting along in the world". I am truly thanking God that it was not worse.
I continue to say my prayers, but this event makes me even more fearful, and "cowed". I think I will look up that word. Does it mean to be roped around the feet and thrown, like in a rodeo, when they are going to brand the cow??? Also, this is not about sexual preference-- it is about clothes. Should one say that being conventional is so important in this life-threatening situation? He just likes to dress like a kindergartener, or a "fairy". He would say he is enlarging the fashion-sense of people, and the colorfulness of the street scene. He would say that he is helping liberate men from the straight jacket of pinstripe suits, or white t-shirt and jeans.
Being a parent is such a hard lesson in helplessness. Learning prudence is one of the most important lessons of "getting along in the world". I am truly thanking God that it was not worse.
I continue to say my prayers, but this event makes me even more fearful, and "cowed". I think I will look up that word. Does it mean to be roped around the feet and thrown, like in a rodeo, when they are going to brand the cow??? Also, this is not about sexual preference-- it is about clothes. Should one say that being conventional is so important in this life-threatening situation? He just likes to dress like a kindergartener, or a "fairy". He would say he is enlarging the fashion-sense of people, and the colorfulness of the street scene. He would say that he is helping liberate men from the straight jacket of pinstripe suits, or white t-shirt and jeans.
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