Sunday, May 13, 2012
Walking in Navarre
Walked from Villamayor to Torres del Rio. Beautiful hills and slopes of early wheat-- luscious green, with poppies and daisies in the hedgerows. Overcast, slight breeze. Walked from7:30 to 2 pm-- worn out now. At Internet cafe. Will take bus to Logrono. Last night hiked to castle of Sancho the strong: one of most invincible fortresses In 9th century-- 360 degree view of lush valley. Birdsong. Remembering songs of my childhood. Andy is being patient and helpful with me: two days ago we got lost and confused-- thank God for cell phones--- finally found each other. I am so slow, it is hard for him to wait for me. People we talk with are like characters in the Canterbury tales!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sore legs
Made it to Albergue in Zubiri. New and well-made place-- good mattresses, clean and neat, clothesline and deep sink for washing clothes. Today was like skiing with poles, on a narrow intermediate slope, but with rocks, mud and the feel of a riverbed. The scenery is breathtaking, it is green and lush, and rural. Andy went ahead and faster-- so I walked alone most of the day, and listened to Palestrina on the iPod. This made it joyful, and peaceful. There is no place to mail stuff ahead until Pamplona, tomorrow. Once I clear out my pack I can carry it again. Andy has carried my pack on top of his own both days. He is getting a lot of admiration and compliments, which offset my guilt. We were able to wash a few things today, and there is wi-fi here.
Crossing the mountains
Today we are climbing the mountains in the pay-Basque. It is green and beautiful, and drizzling. I couldn't stand more than two hours with the pack-- 11 kg now-- I can't say how it got so full and heavy. So at Hentto we stopped to rest and gasp for air-- and Andy took my pack on top of his pack--- probably 44 lbs now. I am wearing Debbie's poncho, but am wet with sweat underneath it. We made it to Orisson by 12:00, ate a great meal and rested. Andy got pork chops, I had marinated pork with roasted red peppers. Now we will head over the border and over the mountain to Roncevalles. Last night we stayed just outside of St Jean on the was to San Michel--- at Atzibia- hostess Marie Claire. Beautiful solid stone home, wood floors, quiet-- only us. Wind in the mountains, the feel of the alps. We got chocolate from a chocolatiers in Bayonne, near the cathedral. Great chocolate!! We ate some for dinner. Marie Claire fed us breakfast- orange juice, coffee and bread, jam and butter. we got going by 8 am. The stint to Roncevalles is 25 km-- arduous--- "climb every mountain". The clanging sheep bells on the hillsides are grand. The view is breathtakingly beautiful. Alpine. Thank you God, Kyrie Eleison, and Andy talked about doing a documentary on Teilhard de Chardin before we slept--
He told the French young people on the beach all about Teilhard's philosophical contribution.
I kept thinking of phrases in French--- my mind is reaching into old cupboards trying to pull out these words!!!
Next morning: gruelling afternoon from Orisson over the mountains-- exhausting--- til I was ready to lie down in the mud; the knees were tortured by the down-climb in mud, and uneven path-- and it rained. We got to Roncevalles at 8 pm-- 12 hrs after starting out. I cried with hysterical relief-- and Andy was still carrying my pack on top of his own.
He told the French young people on the beach all about Teilhard's philosophical contribution.
I kept thinking of phrases in French--- my mind is reaching into old cupboards trying to pull out these words!!!
Next morning: gruelling afternoon from Orisson over the mountains-- exhausting--- til I was ready to lie down in the mud; the knees were tortured by the down-climb in mud, and uneven path-- and it rained. We got to Roncevalles at 8 pm-- 12 hrs after starting out. I cried with hysterical relief-- and Andy was still carrying my pack on top of his own.
Friday, April 27, 2012
The Camino De Santiago de Compostela: 2012
I am intending to occasionally update the blog from the Camino De Santiago De Compostela. I won't have a lot of time to do email and I am trying to do it as a pilgrimage, going into a deeply meditative place. SO please excuse the scarcity of material. Please pray for me. I will be praying for all of us who are pilgrims, who are wandering but not lost. I believe we are deeply found in the I/Thou described best by Martin Buber. I am not taking any books with me, except the journal. I hope I can remember all the songs I want to be singing, and the things I am hoping to remember to think about. I am especially going to be thinking about water, soil, air and light. I am worried about the sacred resources of the Earth, and our stewardship of it. I am also thinking about death and dying, and loss and aging. I am carrying my mom and my aunt, who have been lifted up. I am remembering so many people I have loved, who are on the other side-- Dad, Fr. Fallon, Nana, John Hale, my other relatives and friends. And some patients. I believe that the process of trying to become more whole, more coherent, matters. So I offer that, as the first reflection. With love, martina
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Eulogy for Carmelita
Carmelita was a beautiful and brilliant woman, with tremendous energy! She sparkled, she shone, she lit up a room. She was beautiful without make-up or any artfulness; and her beauty partly came from her WANTING to be the BEST at whatever she did. She felt better on a horse than on the ground. She was very proud of her heritage in Camarillo, and she wanted to leave a legacy of honor. Her thesis for her degree at Stanford was on using the history of the Camarillo ranch as a model of California history for 5th graders to begin to learn. She wanted to bring great ideas down into the real, everyday experience of her students and her children.
When she and dad took us to Europe for 6 months in 1965, my father, who had less energy, started to complain that we needed to sleep and rest sometime! Mom famously answered him “you can sleep when you get home!”. Every day she planned which museums we would see, which historical events in that town we needed to know about, what educational activities could not be missed. She made a game of learning a few words in the language of that country, and remembering a few important dates. I will never forget that they planned to arrive in Paris on “le catorze Juillet”-- the French Independence Day. My father went into a tailspin, as we arrived in a blizzard of traffic; which pulled us to a stand-still outside the city-- and millions of Frenchmen in cars, honking desperately. Suddenly the sky erupted with fireworks over Paris-- and it was just as if mom orchestrated the whole thing! Mom was the life of the party. She loved pinatas, bright colors and festive events. Dad always decorated the house to make every holiday fun. She would make a cake with bright frosting, and the house would fill with laughter and joyful activity!
Many of you here know that we went with 6 little girls in navy blue raincoats all over Europe, and there are thousands of slides in Dad’s library to show us off in front of monuments, statues and museums! Mom was such a dynamic force that many people we met stayed friends forever-- at Christmas we received cards from all over the world--- one from Madame Hennessy, whom we happened to meet at a small shop in her town, and who subsequently gave us a private guided tour of the cognac factory! Also, from a couple from Amsterdam with whom mom had struck up a conversation while getting tickets for the symphony there. One of her great escapades was going to Nigeria with dad, to be the godparents of Maudie and Bob’s youngest child Emily; she got Dengue fever, and Maudie had her hands full, nursing a new baby and trying to save mom’s life at the same time! She was a fearless leader, and a determined adventurer. When anyone asked her to go anywhere, she would say, “let me get my toothbrush, and I am ready!” She and dad accompanied Rosemary and Paul Bauer on a round-the world trip which started in Europe and went on the trans-Siberian railway to China. Dad said that SIberia was pretty grey, big, and endlessly monotonous, and he was so grateful for the wonderful friendship and conversation with Rosemary and Paul. Mom was too, but also busy planning what she was going to do in China!
She loved teaching kids with disabilities, because it helped her stay grounded and remembering the blessing, that her own six daughters were all healthy. Because of her own family, most of her life she was a substitute teacher, so that she could be with us when we needed her. Almost every morning a call would come, asking if she could come in that day. Her positive attitude was remembered by many teachers who only taught with her a few times; and at my church, several moms who picked up children at the same time at Good Shepherd school still ask about her every Sunday. One retired teacher remembered that I had been in the Peace Corps in Paraguay, because mom had told her all about me, and she brought me a slip of the Paraguayan rose, which mom had given her a slip from-- after dad got it going! It had been lost to me for 3 decades, and mom’s gift came back again!
Her dear friends usually stayed friends forever-- in the last 10 years, those friends really helped us so much! I will always be grateful to Rose Wisuri for staying with her at the hospital after the car accident until I could get there; and to John Hill for getting her through her last Camarillo fiesta parade.
She loved making funny Christmas cards-- her own expression of that FitzGerald humor and wit-- and one of my favorites is the one where she is standing in a wet-suit, holding a boogie-board, in 2001, saying “let’s roll!” when she was about 80 years old! When women see that photo in my office, it silences their complaints about aches and pains, and they become more determined to start exercising!
She deeply loved her own mother, and sister and brothers. They were never happier than when they were all together, and Gerald was cracking jokes and puns, and everyone was laughing! She missed her father, who was a gallant and honorable man, with a bit of Irish wit. From him, she learned that drive to excellence, with that competitive edge. She was always telling us when we did something right that we got 10 points. I worked very hard for those points, which unlike blue-chip stamps never seemed to actually be something you could cash in! My sister Mary told of going to Kennolyn camp, and how mom inspired her to swim more, by telling her that she would give Mary a penny for every lap she did. Mary met her a few weeks later with a piece of carefully tabulated earnings, and said “You owe me $7.12!”
She was a tiger mother, who wanted us to succeed, and she was proud that we all graduated from college. She was never a quitter, and she had that determination to never give up on us, even when we were difficult teenagers!
Mom and Dad were a very good team, and deeply loved each other. They had a renewal of the vows on their 40th anniversary, with a big party, and all the living members of the original wedding party came. It was very moving, and powerful, for them to show us their love; time and time again they would back each other up and help each other over hard times. Dad had serious problems with his heart, and a tendency to melancholia. Mom would work hard to make him laugh and want to get going again-- and she always would ask him at sundown to go play the piano. She would stop what she was doing, and go sit; to listen and enjoy it. There is a wonderful story of how my grandmother met him--- dad came to the house out in Santa Rosa valley for the first time, and was nervous. When he walked in, he saw the piano, and asked mom if he could play it. He sat down to play, and opened the sheet music, which was our grandmother’s. Nana came from the back of the house, singing. They sang together at the piano for many songs, and developed a deep love for each other from that moment on. Mom treasured Dad’s ability to make music! We had a tradition of singing show tunes, and Mexican favorites like "Las Mananitas" for birthdays, and other celebrations.
Mom was happy each time she was pregnant, and we were all very wanted children. But It was a vivid first lesson for me when I was about 12, that pregnancy could be a scourge for a woman. Mom took me with her after mass on Sundays every week to help a lady who was in her 9th pregnancy. Her 8 children were all around, but not knowing how to help her. She had terrible varicose veins, which were so severe; we would lift and wrap the ace wraps carefully around each of her legs. Mom had been a nurse’s aid during the war years, and she knew how to help mothers in need.
Carmelita firmly believed in being a good steward to the land; helping to keep it producing good fruit; and helping to manage irrigation, soil and good crop planning. She listened carefully to Uncle Gerald, as she had listened to her father-- both were very intelligent at farming. Because she had packed lemons in high school vacations, hoping to get financial help from her grandfather to go to college; she never wasted money; and she was famous for saving water-- she took the world’s shortest showers; and she had canning jars full of saved water in her pantry, in case of draught--- and once, when her house was full of young gentlemen students, she made them all go outside to pee-- until the lemon trees began to look anemic-- and the agricultural engineer had to tell her that there was TOO much nitrogen being added to the trees near the house!
In the later years she had a lot of vulnerability, and need for care-givers. No one makes it to 90 without some help and support! She was very grateful for Susana and Pat Reeder’s constant help. The whole family would like to thank her 3 great care-givers of the past few years-- Lisa, Delia and Alma-- for the love, tenderness, kindness and patience they always gave her. It is not easy to have that kind of patience, with feeding, bathing, and sometimes exhausting daily-life functions. Each of these dear women went above and beyond the call of duty to give mom the greatest possible help.
Mom’s mantra in the last several years was “Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!”. She always said it fervently, and in 3’s. It was a great model for living with the indignities of aging and loss, and greater dependence on the kindness of others. I cannot tell you, as a physician, how much I learned about REAL healthcare needs from my mother. Probably 100 physicians have been involved over the years, helping her to earn the title “The Phoenix”. She was a truly medically sophisticated and complex patient. I especially am grateful to Dr. Hoos and Dr. Bruns. Each time she had to be in the hospital, or undergo some medical crisis, it helped me to learn what it is to be an ADVOCATE for the patient. It does NOT mean criticizing and controlling. Being an advocate meant for me to be walking through the valley of the shadow of death WITH my mother, struggling to have more kindness and more patience, and with attention to the small details, and the concrete positive ways I could be helpful to the docs and nurses. I am a better physician because of her needs.
Story of the Marca_pasos:
In 1987 I was newly married and in my first year of practicing medicine in Santa Clara. I got a call at 2 am from my sister Alison, who was in hysterics, saying “here, speak to the doctor!” The doctor started telling me in Spanish that my mom had a serious heart condition and needed a Marca-Pasos-- a Pacemaker. I said to go ahead and put it in, and then asked to speak to my sister. I asked her where she was, because I was wondering why the doctor was testing my Spanish at such a time. She said “Ensenada!” So then, I understood, and asked to speak to the doctor again. He said he could fly mom up on a Lear Jet, if I would tell him which doc and which hospital to send her to. I thought for a moment: None of my sisters was living in Camarillo at that time-- so I asked if I could call him back, and got the number. I called my mother-in-law and asked for the name and number of her cardiologist in Mountain View, and God bless him, he answered the phone at 2 am, and said he would accept the transfer. The doctor in Mexico had to send a young resident to get his temporary pacemaker when they put her new one in-- we promised to pay for his ticket on a commercial flight back again. They flew mom up to San Jose, and brought her to El Camino Hospital in an ambulance, put her in the CCU, and sent the young doctor back to Mexico with the temporary pacemaker set-up. This is just one of the stories of how mom stretched medicine just a little further into the future, to get her needs met! Dad paid for the Lear Jet with an American Express card which he had gotten in the mail the day before the trip, and stuck in his wallet. He hadn’t paid the premium yet, but he paid it as soon as he drove home, and onward to Mountain View!
Both my parents firmly believed that Love is stronger than Death:
When Dad died, I said that I knew he was going to plant a garden for her in heaven, and that he would be looking forward to her arrival. I know that he is very happy to have her there with him, at last. I am sure there are jacarandas, bougainvilleas, Cecile Brunner roses, daisies and maidenhair ferns in that garden. And maybe Diablo is also waiting, to take her for a long ride on the beaches of heaven. Vaya Con Dios, mom; Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou forever; and Crom a Boo!
When she and dad took us to Europe for 6 months in 1965, my father, who had less energy, started to complain that we needed to sleep and rest sometime! Mom famously answered him “you can sleep when you get home!”. Every day she planned which museums we would see, which historical events in that town we needed to know about, what educational activities could not be missed. She made a game of learning a few words in the language of that country, and remembering a few important dates. I will never forget that they planned to arrive in Paris on “le catorze Juillet”-- the French Independence Day. My father went into a tailspin, as we arrived in a blizzard of traffic; which pulled us to a stand-still outside the city-- and millions of Frenchmen in cars, honking desperately. Suddenly the sky erupted with fireworks over Paris-- and it was just as if mom orchestrated the whole thing! Mom was the life of the party. She loved pinatas, bright colors and festive events. Dad always decorated the house to make every holiday fun. She would make a cake with bright frosting, and the house would fill with laughter and joyful activity!
Many of you here know that we went with 6 little girls in navy blue raincoats all over Europe, and there are thousands of slides in Dad’s library to show us off in front of monuments, statues and museums! Mom was such a dynamic force that many people we met stayed friends forever-- at Christmas we received cards from all over the world--- one from Madame Hennessy, whom we happened to meet at a small shop in her town, and who subsequently gave us a private guided tour of the cognac factory! Also, from a couple from Amsterdam with whom mom had struck up a conversation while getting tickets for the symphony there. One of her great escapades was going to Nigeria with dad, to be the godparents of Maudie and Bob’s youngest child Emily; she got Dengue fever, and Maudie had her hands full, nursing a new baby and trying to save mom’s life at the same time! She was a fearless leader, and a determined adventurer. When anyone asked her to go anywhere, she would say, “let me get my toothbrush, and I am ready!” She and dad accompanied Rosemary and Paul Bauer on a round-the world trip which started in Europe and went on the trans-Siberian railway to China. Dad said that SIberia was pretty grey, big, and endlessly monotonous, and he was so grateful for the wonderful friendship and conversation with Rosemary and Paul. Mom was too, but also busy planning what she was going to do in China!
She loved teaching kids with disabilities, because it helped her stay grounded and remembering the blessing, that her own six daughters were all healthy. Because of her own family, most of her life she was a substitute teacher, so that she could be with us when we needed her. Almost every morning a call would come, asking if she could come in that day. Her positive attitude was remembered by many teachers who only taught with her a few times; and at my church, several moms who picked up children at the same time at Good Shepherd school still ask about her every Sunday. One retired teacher remembered that I had been in the Peace Corps in Paraguay, because mom had told her all about me, and she brought me a slip of the Paraguayan rose, which mom had given her a slip from-- after dad got it going! It had been lost to me for 3 decades, and mom’s gift came back again!
Her dear friends usually stayed friends forever-- in the last 10 years, those friends really helped us so much! I will always be grateful to Rose Wisuri for staying with her at the hospital after the car accident until I could get there; and to John Hill for getting her through her last Camarillo fiesta parade.
She loved making funny Christmas cards-- her own expression of that FitzGerald humor and wit-- and one of my favorites is the one where she is standing in a wet-suit, holding a boogie-board, in 2001, saying “let’s roll!” when she was about 80 years old! When women see that photo in my office, it silences their complaints about aches and pains, and they become more determined to start exercising!
She deeply loved her own mother, and sister and brothers. They were never happier than when they were all together, and Gerald was cracking jokes and puns, and everyone was laughing! She missed her father, who was a gallant and honorable man, with a bit of Irish wit. From him, she learned that drive to excellence, with that competitive edge. She was always telling us when we did something right that we got 10 points. I worked very hard for those points, which unlike blue-chip stamps never seemed to actually be something you could cash in! My sister Mary told of going to Kennolyn camp, and how mom inspired her to swim more, by telling her that she would give Mary a penny for every lap she did. Mary met her a few weeks later with a piece of carefully tabulated earnings, and said “You owe me $7.12!”
She was a tiger mother, who wanted us to succeed, and she was proud that we all graduated from college. She was never a quitter, and she had that determination to never give up on us, even when we were difficult teenagers!
Mom and Dad were a very good team, and deeply loved each other. They had a renewal of the vows on their 40th anniversary, with a big party, and all the living members of the original wedding party came. It was very moving, and powerful, for them to show us their love; time and time again they would back each other up and help each other over hard times. Dad had serious problems with his heart, and a tendency to melancholia. Mom would work hard to make him laugh and want to get going again-- and she always would ask him at sundown to go play the piano. She would stop what she was doing, and go sit; to listen and enjoy it. There is a wonderful story of how my grandmother met him--- dad came to the house out in Santa Rosa valley for the first time, and was nervous. When he walked in, he saw the piano, and asked mom if he could play it. He sat down to play, and opened the sheet music, which was our grandmother’s. Nana came from the back of the house, singing. They sang together at the piano for many songs, and developed a deep love for each other from that moment on. Mom treasured Dad’s ability to make music! We had a tradition of singing show tunes, and Mexican favorites like "Las Mananitas" for birthdays, and other celebrations.
Mom was happy each time she was pregnant, and we were all very wanted children. But It was a vivid first lesson for me when I was about 12, that pregnancy could be a scourge for a woman. Mom took me with her after mass on Sundays every week to help a lady who was in her 9th pregnancy. Her 8 children were all around, but not knowing how to help her. She had terrible varicose veins, which were so severe; we would lift and wrap the ace wraps carefully around each of her legs. Mom had been a nurse’s aid during the war years, and she knew how to help mothers in need.
Carmelita firmly believed in being a good steward to the land; helping to keep it producing good fruit; and helping to manage irrigation, soil and good crop planning. She listened carefully to Uncle Gerald, as she had listened to her father-- both were very intelligent at farming. Because she had packed lemons in high school vacations, hoping to get financial help from her grandfather to go to college; she never wasted money; and she was famous for saving water-- she took the world’s shortest showers; and she had canning jars full of saved water in her pantry, in case of draught--- and once, when her house was full of young gentlemen students, she made them all go outside to pee-- until the lemon trees began to look anemic-- and the agricultural engineer had to tell her that there was TOO much nitrogen being added to the trees near the house!
In the later years she had a lot of vulnerability, and need for care-givers. No one makes it to 90 without some help and support! She was very grateful for Susana and Pat Reeder’s constant help. The whole family would like to thank her 3 great care-givers of the past few years-- Lisa, Delia and Alma-- for the love, tenderness, kindness and patience they always gave her. It is not easy to have that kind of patience, with feeding, bathing, and sometimes exhausting daily-life functions. Each of these dear women went above and beyond the call of duty to give mom the greatest possible help.
Mom’s mantra in the last several years was “Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!”. She always said it fervently, and in 3’s. It was a great model for living with the indignities of aging and loss, and greater dependence on the kindness of others. I cannot tell you, as a physician, how much I learned about REAL healthcare needs from my mother. Probably 100 physicians have been involved over the years, helping her to earn the title “The Phoenix”. She was a truly medically sophisticated and complex patient. I especially am grateful to Dr. Hoos and Dr. Bruns. Each time she had to be in the hospital, or undergo some medical crisis, it helped me to learn what it is to be an ADVOCATE for the patient. It does NOT mean criticizing and controlling. Being an advocate meant for me to be walking through the valley of the shadow of death WITH my mother, struggling to have more kindness and more patience, and with attention to the small details, and the concrete positive ways I could be helpful to the docs and nurses. I am a better physician because of her needs.
Story of the Marca_pasos:
In 1987 I was newly married and in my first year of practicing medicine in Santa Clara. I got a call at 2 am from my sister Alison, who was in hysterics, saying “here, speak to the doctor!” The doctor started telling me in Spanish that my mom had a serious heart condition and needed a Marca-Pasos-- a Pacemaker. I said to go ahead and put it in, and then asked to speak to my sister. I asked her where she was, because I was wondering why the doctor was testing my Spanish at such a time. She said “Ensenada!” So then, I understood, and asked to speak to the doctor again. He said he could fly mom up on a Lear Jet, if I would tell him which doc and which hospital to send her to. I thought for a moment: None of my sisters was living in Camarillo at that time-- so I asked if I could call him back, and got the number. I called my mother-in-law and asked for the name and number of her cardiologist in Mountain View, and God bless him, he answered the phone at 2 am, and said he would accept the transfer. The doctor in Mexico had to send a young resident to get his temporary pacemaker when they put her new one in-- we promised to pay for his ticket on a commercial flight back again. They flew mom up to San Jose, and brought her to El Camino Hospital in an ambulance, put her in the CCU, and sent the young doctor back to Mexico with the temporary pacemaker set-up. This is just one of the stories of how mom stretched medicine just a little further into the future, to get her needs met! Dad paid for the Lear Jet with an American Express card which he had gotten in the mail the day before the trip, and stuck in his wallet. He hadn’t paid the premium yet, but he paid it as soon as he drove home, and onward to Mountain View!
Both my parents firmly believed that Love is stronger than Death:
When Dad died, I said that I knew he was going to plant a garden for her in heaven, and that he would be looking forward to her arrival. I know that he is very happy to have her there with him, at last. I am sure there are jacarandas, bougainvilleas, Cecile Brunner roses, daisies and maidenhair ferns in that garden. And maybe Diablo is also waiting, to take her for a long ride on the beaches of heaven. Vaya Con Dios, mom; Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou forever; and Crom a Boo!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Contraception, Catholics and public health
I am fascinated by the possibility of schism, as the truth about Catholic women/couples, and women's health care choices comes out in broad daylight. The truth is, families in America are smaller, and partly because women need to work in order to contribute to the income of the family. Also, women have gotten educations, and want to exercise their talents beyond the home. I think the hierarchy had not seen this- they keep seeing "leave it to Beaver" as the model. Most Catholic couples have never liked being constricted by Humane Vitae, and never thought it was "do-able". They are struggling to keep doing all the rest of the things they have to do, and having more children than they can afford to raise is not practical. Most women are grateful to be able to get their family planning paid for, as the insurance policies are so expensive for the family, and co-pays and medication costs have risen outrageously since the carte-blanche given to the pharmaceutical industry from the Bush administration. The great promise of the ACA reform is that it will cover all preventive care. It needs to have large risk pools of patients to accomplish it. The data show that $1 of contraception saves $3.50 in pregnancy care coverage. Ultimately, my faith says that in another 50 years, pregnancy will be truly scarce, and THEN Humane Vitae will be looked at as a prescient and precious promise to protect fertility and the right of people to have children. But til then, the practical need to reduce family size, in order to fit our economic model and society, is foremost in the minds of most mothers and fathers. Family planning choices are now much safer, and many options are available. For the last 10 years, most moms I know are bringing their daughters in to see us, to get them on an appropriate medication, at the appropriate time. We have frank discussions, and they choose what will suit them best. Almost none of the young women I know are celibate. Almost none of the young men I know are celibate. Many people are afraid of marriage, and of commitment to it, and many young women are terrified of the job of mothering, in this society. The great holy men of our faith tradition had saintly mothers who were very self-sacrificing. Such women are increasingly rare. It is known by women that single moms fall much more deeply into poverty, and their children are more at risk. They have to have jobs to keep their insurance benefits, and their access to medical care. Catholic women still hold that life is sacred, for the most part. They do not want to have abortions-- so they try harder to get their contraceptives to be really effective ones. We have excellent contraceptives now-- with failure rates about 1/1000. This information is easily accessed by every young woman. When we think of the idea of personhood, the richness of relationships is more important than the single sex act. Most young women are building much healthier relationships than the ones in our generation. They can walk away if the man is immature or irresponsible, or a bully. I am excited for them, looking at the future. I want them to build strong and fine families. God help us to build a better society!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Breastfeeding and Maternity time-off
I am going to say again, that I believe we need to do our best to increase the disability time-off for women to breastfeed babies up to 24 weeks. Pumping in the workplace doesn't cut it, in my not-so-humble but practical- experienced opinion! What has happened in this recession, is that we have lost 20% of the real value of the country. Also, there is concentrated wealth in the 1%, none of whom are "breastfeeding women", I think! This puts women at a real disadvantage, as the Achilles' heel of every woman is the potential needs for her children. There is no more "welfare", which anyone who is not a Republican running for office should know. We are losing public education, public libraries, public roads, and public health care, which used to help offset low wages for young mothers in trying to provide a safety net for children. We have moms working 2-3 jobs, with minimum wage and no benefits, and we have moms going into preterm labor. We have lost ground, with increased maternal morbidity, and increased infants needing acute hospitalization. The least expensive way to help solve this is to have a sense of "THE COMMON GOOD"-- such as was mentioned in the opening words of the Constitution. We need to support healthy families. We need to make family life, and the care of the young a major goal of civilization. When women forget to include our children's needs in public policy, the whole country will be poorer. Women need disability money for this time-off, because most are now working, and cannot afford to take time-off without pay. Women are exhausted by the 24/7 job of nursing infants. We need to cut women some slack, on behalf of the babies-- as future citizens of the country. It will really serve our society better in the long-run to have babies who are healthy, and have basic trust established, and are able to exist in a more stable and less chaotic home. The current divorce rate is 51%. The issues of divorce and marital instability are complex, but it forces most children into poverty. I personally believe that if less moms were exhausted, they would have the tolerance and flexibility to make the marriages more stable. That first 6 months of a child's life is crucial! Please write to your legislators. Or go to Momsrising.org, and advocate for mothers with children. THANKS.
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